Tag Archives: Comedians

The Big Fat Egos of the Famous

When successful, well-known people tell you they want to hear from you, note well: unless you’re telling them you love them, they’re lying.

I listened to a sketch by a comedian about the horrors of “nationalism” who says that if you’re that pathetic that illegals take work from you, then “you’re a loser of epic, humiliating proportions.”

As a housecleaner, I face this every day. It’s very hard to find work here on the AZ/Mexico border, so I guess that makes me a loser. Since this guy’s usually surrounded by a hundred asskissers, it’s impossible to have a conversation with him. He says in his sketches that he likes freaks and outcasts and people who don’t follow the rules. But only if you agree with his views on what the rules are.

Since I am acquainted with him, I felt it would be OK to write him an email stating my case. I didn’t think it was offensive, but even if it was, his whole “brand” is being as offensive as possible on stage. I ended my letter by telling him how much I like most of his work. In his nasty email back to me, he said “Don’t give me shit, asshole. Why can’t you just be happy?”

He’s a fanatic atheist of the white-Christian-hating ilk. The one time I was able to ask him why he doesn’t object to Islam, he said “oh that’s for those Fox-news-watching assholes.” (I am neither left nor right, instead I appreciate people who think for themselves.)

There are some very good atheist websites that cover all religions in a scientific way. But there are also many who absolutely hate white Christians only. The last time I posed the question “why is this” on my blog, I received a lot of nasty mail. The obnoxious comments did not come from religious people, but from Christian haters. Most were unprintable, and I resolved to discard this subject. They say things like Islam doesn’t affect us, etc. I thought we were at war with a couple of Islamic countries. Have you noticed the New York skyline? Do you know what Sharia is? Misogyny as law?

Yet these same people want to open up the borders, apparently not aware that Mexico is fervently Christian. Right, they’re not white. The embarrassment and self-hatred of many white Americans is the only explanation I can come up with for this half-ass atheism. You’re an atheist or you’re not.

This comedian also says that he likes outspoken people and anti-depressants may be the one last thing that destroys any personality you have left. What a load of shit. Dude, you don’t want personality, you want minions.

When celebrities don’t want to hear what their fans say, they are doing themselves a disservice and will never grow. He will keep spouting the same bullshit over and over. He hates America so much that it’s a mystery why he lives here.

People say this guy is “nice” in real life. That’s because they don’t challenge him. Since I don’t fit the suckup bill, I don’t agree.

I gave up the confrontational ways of my younger days long ago. Growing up in a family of bullies, I know that to save your sanity, you must walk away. I am so sick to death of bullies, they’re everywhere. I could write him back and try to explain that I was only trying to have a dialogue about something that affects me personally—but I know from experience that intimidators MUST have the last word, and rational people MUST let them.

I will never watch, listen, or speak to him again. This blog is the only recourse I have to explain myself. He doesn’t give a shit about my blog and would never lower himself to read it, so he’ll never know. But you will.

The Paradox of Cranky Comedians

I adore Christopher Guest—or should I say his work. I’ve watched his movies (Spinal Tap, Best in Show, etc.) over and over, and they’re among favorites to have on in the background while working.

I’ve read that Guest can be irascible in real life, and this trait is revealed a bit on Unwigged and Unplugged, a live concert tape released last year where he and his partners Michael McKean and Harry Shearer perform various songs (beautifully) from their movies. Guest doesn’t say much, doesn’t smile, and seems almost annoyed to be there, and though it doesn’t show in his performance, it does in his attitude.

His coolness has been noted by both interviewers and fans. He is aloof during promotional appearances, and was once described by reviewer Warren Etheredge as “rude, condescending and intolerable,” which is exactly contrary to what we expect from  comedians.  Guest has said, “People want me to be funny all the time. They think I’m being funny no matter what I say or do and that’s not the case. I rarely joke unless I’m in front of a camera. It’s not what I am in real life. It’s what I do for a living.”

Wow. Who knew it was just a job? I have to say this knocks him down a couple of rungs on my ladder of respect. Nobody’s asking him to be funny all the time, but there’s no need to make everybody recoil in humiliation.

A small bit of research led me to discover that this is in no way a unique phenomenon among comedians. Actor Mark Wahlberg said in a recent interview…“comedic actors are often the polar opposite of how they appear on screen. They’re dark and moody…”

Which is why I hate talk shows, it smashes the myth–and I don’t want to know how bland or difficult the people who make me laugh are in real life because they’re too precious. Maybe a bit of misanthropy goes with the territory—the darker and funnier the comedian, the more withdrawn in real life. Maybe they are so absorbed in composing their perverse reflections on life that they don’t need people to like them personally, because all that really matters is the performance. Instead of challenging them, perhaps we should just think up a different job title for them, acrimonians or ornerians or negativians or soreheads. We’ll still watch their shows and buy their DVDs, but maybe they’re better admired impersonally, from afar.