Existential Nausea

Rants

Most left unsaid. I’m usually disconsolate, but try to squeegee off deathwish before attempting dialogue—I am not anonymous and surly soliloquies are best spoken to myself. I never contemplated the downfall of western civilization so much until Facebook. Sharia law is evil.

Politics and Religion

I do not believe in God, but neither in atheist websites. Agreement is no good reason to suffer feral presentation. I’m liberal but flinch at the left, I’m conservative but recoil at the right. Read between the lies. Sick to death of arrogant manifestos and evangelical devotion to ideals that don’t work. They want approval, they get the opposite—I’m fully alienated. I still subscribe to several to keep the hate alive. Even longhaired town hippies disappoint in their conformity as they hiss “fascists!” rendering further discussion futile. (Criticism of chained dogs or piles of garbage in my neighborhood is forbidden.)

Blogging

Struggling to co-exist in same body with my rants without suppressing soul. I have strict policy against tracking unsharpened mud across comments sections. Bloggers who leave same generic message for all: “great post!!!!!” when finally overwhelmed with indifference, spring into action by unclicking “notify of follow-up comments.” If I become comatose, do not insufflate. Give me substance-syringe or pull plug. I thought blogging was about writing. If you don’t think your comment is worthy enough to check back on, use Facebook. If I spend 15 minutes writing a thoughtful comment and you don’t have the courtesy to respond at all, then disable your goddamn comments so the rest of us don’t waste our time.

Lists

Guilty of refusal to fatigue you with laborious lists (see Facebook). My prototype for lists would include such questions as, have you ever been in a torrid love triangle? Did you break someone’s heart? Does the sound of your partner’s breathing ever make you want to put a plastic bag over their head? Do you waste your time because you think you have to please people? Is your enthusiasm embellished? And they would be essay questions.

Tag Surfer

Kafkaesque. I seek enlightenment from the undeceived, the skeptic’s sweet talk, midlife confessions and observations on personal unrest. I avoid pregnancy chronicles, recipes (I’m safe around stoves), and new-age bloviation. Request the pleasure of your ennui-defying feats of sensuous sentences. Curses courted, regrets revealed, jealousies acknowledged. Passion without persecution, but rage required for honor killings, animal abuse, and blood of innocents. Questions: why why why. Discuss.

Helping Others

Not for love. Not for money. Not for fellowship or familiarity or fraternization. But Karma is a debit not credit Kard—penalty for exceeding withdrawals will drain account. My random acts are not of kindness as defined in the dictionary, but of hope receiver will be less angry. We are all obligated to contribute to the society which contains our sorry carcasses. To leave it better than we found it. I do it to live with myself, or there will be no life in me.

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13 responses to “Existential Nausea

  1. This makes more sense than anything I have read in a while. Witty, sober, even a little uneven, all at the same time. Raw, unadulterated truth in how you see things and how you feel about present day affairs.

    I especially like that you are torn. So many of us are but are afraid to say so. Afraid to admit it. I think I get this. At least it feels that way.

    The funniest part of your list: “Does the sound of your partner’s breathing ever make you want to put a plastic bag over their head?” Really funny!

    Thank you.

    • Bill, I’m more than a little uneven! We all are if we’d just admit it. Guess I have to undergo periodic meltdowns to reset system to default. Nice to be able to vent pieces of them here. Thanks for writing.
      D.

  2. One more thing: Karma is a debit not a credit Kard. I liked that. This is worth repeating.

  3. Flings myself through the air, taking refuge behind the thick wooden bar, as the Cowgirl kicks open the Saloon doors with both guns a blaze’n.

  4. I was going to try to say something clever and complimentary, but somehow that would seem to devalue what you have done here. Frankly, there is nothing more to be said.

    • bekind, thank you. Your posts have been an inspiration to step outside my circle of comfort. I have so much to learn about writing (and everything else). Something to strive for is a good thing, though.

  5. I think those folks who just say “great post!!!” are usually spammers, unfortunately.

    • @Laura Brown – “I think those folks who just say “great post!!!” are usually spammers, unfortunately.” — Not true, for two reasons: (1) As a longtime blogger and reader, I can vouch for the preponderance of “great post” from legit readers; (2) the WP anti-spam net is really excellent. (P.S. And vastly superior to Vox’s, which had all the porousness of the U.S.-Mexico border.)

  6. Hi,
    You make some fair points but I do object to “when finally overwhelmed with indifference, spring into action by unclicking “notify of follow-up comments.” I have subscribed to about 50 blogs and because I’ve subscribed I “try” and read every one and least once a week and either like or comment. I rarely “tick” the follow up comment, not because I do not care but because at one stage my inbox was jammed packed and in my enthusiasm to support other bloggers I was overwhelmed. I usually try and revisit the posts I commented on when I next visit the blog. Plus of course some bloggers do not reply to comments…
    PiP 8)

  7. Quality, not quantity is the foundation for me. Trying to keep up with 50 blogs would overwhelm anybody. There’s no need to try to support them all unless you are truly moved and want to contribute. When I leave a comment I don’t want to miss a response. If the blogger doesn’t respond, unsubscribe.

    • You are right it is quality not quantity and I am gradually discovering, after several weeks, which bloggers interact and those that are just “ME” bloggers….but I had/have to go through the quantity to find the quality 🙂 LOL
      As a new blogger it’s taking time for me to work through this and find a level I am comfortable with. I have so many hobbies that I tend to go with those with similar interests or age group as myself. I do not aspire to be a writer; just enjoy my blog and encourage others. 🙂
      PiP

  8. you go girl!!

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