Postcard from Hell

Stephanie at BeKindRewrite has once again provided her weekly prompts for Inspiration Monday IX.

Dear Jimmy,

Well, it’s pretty much what I expected. There are many rooms and levels here. I’m in the TV section, where we are shuttled back and forth between soccer and CNN. We are given plenty of fluids but there are no bathrooms. Nobody talks about why they’re here because we’re not allowed to speak, but each of us knows our sins. We are not allowed books, pencils, or paper. I have to hand it to him, it’s all pretty ingeniously planned for ultimate discomfort. I guess this is permanent, but since no questions are allowed I assume it is. If we fall asleep we are shaken and shown pictures of honor killings and have to praise Allah. Complete attention to the televisions are strictly enforced—at the end of each day we are tested, and if we answer a question wrong the volume is cranked to maximum. This creates dissent among the inmates, which the guards enjoy. If I am caught daydreaming I am singled out to clean the game show room while cranky retired people follow me around describing in detail their recent surgeries while I am forced to politely feign interest. I believe these people are apparitions but they are real enough to me.

Well hon, gotta go. They’re repeating the same tragedies on CNN for the umpteenth time today, but claim there are updates, so I’ve got to pay attention. I don’t want to tell you what I had to do to the guard to smuggle this message out, it’ll just piss you off and I know you have your own problems.



18 responses to “Postcard from Hell

  1. Indigo Spider

    Perfect description of hell. Of course, everyday reality as well!

  2. Hahaha… wickedly funny. I really like that you used the letter format to present the piece in. Great idea.
    Soccer and CNN, eh? Guess I’ll see you around there somewhere. Lol.

  3. Plenty of fluids but no bathrooms? Now that is my idea of hell. An eternally full bladder.

    So clever, as usual.

  4. Initial thoughts upon reading -’Room With A View’ meets ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’. Followed by the music of the Talking Heads. Not a bad idea, though, to send people a ‘Post Card’ from the place we are within. Hotel Conflicting Thoughts. The Museum of Discontent. Sell Your Soul Gardens.

    Edgy, hard and yet compassionate in the end. A creative kick in the pants for me.

    • Mr. Howl, you are an inspiration. Those are great. I couldn’t think of a damn title, now they’re pouring out…The Last Resort, The Final Flophouse, The Hostile Hostel, The Thug Shack, Sinner’s Spa, Guilty Gates, Lowlife Lodge, The Sinister Arms, Malevolent Manor, Iniquitous Inn, Coldblooded Cottage, Reprobate’s Roadhouse…stop me.

      Thank you. I really should check with you first!

  5. Funny!
    I would work extra hard at not falling asleep just so I wouldn’t have to head to the game room.

  6. Genius from the first sentence on.

  7. Wonderful creation! I feel this place, and then near the end of the piece, I think I might already be there in real true life! We got bathrooms, so I guess I need to quit whining.

  8. I’d settle for a bucket but there aren’t any of them there either. You just have to hold it. Thanks for writing Carl, appreciate it.

  9. Loved the humor in this.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s